No parent wants to believe it, but teen dating violence is more prevalent than many realize. Nearly 7-10% of high school students in the U.S. have reported being involved in an abusive or violent relationship, according to Dr. Rochelle David, an OB/GYN at University Health.
Dating violence can happen to anyone and in any type of relationship, casual dating and long-term relationships.
Teen Dating Abuse
The abuse can be physical, sexual or emotional. It can happen in person or through digital means, such as phone calls, texting, social media or other online platforms.
Similar to adults, teens may be reluctant to discuss the abusive behavior. It is common for the teen to feel shame, embarrassment or fear associated with the situation. Parents can help their teen by encouraging open and honest communication about their experiences.
Dr. David discusses ways to spot dating violence and how parents can support their teens who may be experiencing dating abuse.
Warning Signs Your Teen Might Be Experiencing Abuse
As a parent, it’s important to understand how you can support your child and be aware of red flags that your child is in an abusive relationship. “It’s not just one specific sign that says this 100% is a sign that something bad is happening in the relationship, but it certainly raises red flags,” Dr. David said.
Changes in Your Teen’s Behavior
Here are signs your teen may be experiencing abuse:
- The teen’s mood has changed, or they are depressed or withdrawn
- Doing poorly in school or withdrawing from activities that they previously enjoyed
- Physical signs, such as unexplained bruises or cuts
- Wearing clothes that are not appropriate for the weather, such as wearing a sweatshirt during the summer heat in Texas
Relationships are not simply “good” or “bad.” They exist on a spectrum, and according to loveisrespect.com, a relationship becomes unhealthy before it becomes abusive. This is why it is crucial to recognize these signs early.
Red Flags in Your Teen’s Partner
As a parent, you naturally want what’s best for your teen. If you suspect they might be in an abusive relationship, it’s helpful to be mindful of certain behaviors in their partner.
Here are red flags you want to look out for in your teen’s partner or friend:
- They are monitoring your teen’s activities or phone calls/texts
- They frequently appear unannounced
- They are giving your teen unwanted attention
- Their actions are causing your teen to be uneasy or fearful
These behaviors could lead to abuse or violence so they should be addressed quickly.
Supporting Your Teen
Developing trust with your teen is the best way to support them. If there is mutual trust, your child will feel comfortable reaching out for help. Other things you can do to help include:
- Listen, offer support and reassure them that the abuse is not their fault.
- Believe and don’t judge your child when they tell you something is happening.
- Let them know you are concerned for their safety.
- Avoid pushing them into making a decision about their relationship. This can make your teen feel isolated.
While it might seem like the obvious choice to have your teen abruptly end their relationship with their abusive partner, it may not be the safest option. Their partner might retaliate out of anger and put your teen more at risk.
So what should you do?
Resources for Parents and Teens
If you find out your teen is in an abusive relationship, you can reach out to your primary care provider to get you connected to resources. They can also help your teen create a safety plan.
A safety plan is meant for your teen and you to think through ways you can work together in creating a safer environment for them at school, home and other places. It will also help your teen prepare to leave their abusive relationship.
You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 to guide you through next steps.
Teen Health Clinic at University Health
University Health’s Teen Health Clinic provides integrated care for pre-teens, teens and young adults ages 10-24. The clinic is specifically designed to treat adolescents and encourages teens to take an active role in their care.
The main clinic is located at University Health’s Robert B. Green campus. Other University Health community clinics have designated teen health resources, as well.
